Ode to a 6 year old boy..... (recap & a new event)

Ode to a 6 year boy...How stupid can thee be?!?!? Now before you jump all over me for calling my son (the blood of my blood....the fruit of my loins) "stupid"...let me count the ways.... #1 The previously mentioned & loved by all... "I drew on Dad's couch" insident. #2 The also previously mentioned.... cheese & mustard (ewwwwwwww) event. NOW...the much anticipated.... Hammer Time. So, after a day of sanding, sweeping, prying (with a HAMMER), plastering, taping & painting of the our entry way; it was time for bed...but things were just getting started. Haiden & Chayse started a fighting (as usual) over something ridiculas. (These 2 just don't get along...EVER.) So in an attempt to impower himself, Chayse picked up Dad's hammer, & started waving it around & threatening to whack Haiden or Slader (the absolute innocent by-stander) over the head with it. Then, they started a Tug-o'-war with it because Haiden realized the gravity of the situation. Haiden managed to get it away from him & brought it in to Monty. When I came down to get the boys for Saturday showers, they were both sitting on different couches in stunned silence. Whoo....Chayse got a well deserved spanking for that one & he is not allowed to play on the computer or the wii until Dad says so.

Teaser......

To be read with in a dramatic movie-esk announcer voice. (You know the voice) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* You loved him in..."The Artist that Almost Wasn't" You couldn't get enough of him in..."The Great Sandwich Caper" NOW...Just when you thought he couldn't push the limit any farther.....HE DOES...Damn it!!! Brace yourselves for..."Hammer Time"

Free Agency--The flaw in the plan

The reality of this post is that only a small handful of people (& you know who you are) will understand this..... When given a choice To Do or Not To Do....I more than likely won't.

Want Drugs???? The Firewall is Thin

Noooooooo....I'm not offering....or dealing....so just calm down!!!!!! I am sooo sick of getting Ads in my "Junk Mail Box" for Vicodin, Adderall, Ridalin, Viagra, & a wide assortment of mind numbing & anatomy altering pharmaceuticals. Now.....while some would argue that I could do with a dose or 20 of something to inhance my charming temperament & improve my delightful personality, I don't think I need them. Its been a couple of years since I last recieved one of these ads, but lately my box has completely bombarded with them. Thanx but no thanx. I guess it's time to bump up the Firewall.

Lunch Time Shake Down

So..a couple of hours after picking the boys up from school & while I was driving, Chayse excitedly asks, "Hey Mom, did Mrs. Sidhu call & talk to you on the phone?" I looked at him (wide-eyed) in the rearview mirror...."No", I say suspiciously "Why would she need to call & talk to me?" "I don't know", he responds flipantly & with a huge sigh of relief. "She wrote a note in my agenda." "Well Chayse, where is your agenda?" "I left it at school." OKAY!!!!! So...now here I am on my second lap around the bush with the boy. "Chayse....why would she need to call me & what did she write in your agenda?" "It probably has something to do with me taking someone's cheese & mustard sandwich." So for starters...ewwwwwww...cheese & mustard. Next... "Why did you take someone's sandwich Chayse?" "Well, I asked her for it & she just gave it to me Mom. I did thank her when she gave it to me." GREAT!!!!! When we finally got home, I explained the obvious to him--that when he eats his lunch & then asks someone else for their lunch it means that they go without. I told him that if he's still hungry, that he needs to let me know & I can pack him a larger lunch. So, today he gets in the van & I promptly ask him if he has his agenda so I can read the message that Mrs. Sidhu wrote in it. "I left it in the school." DOY!!!! So I sent him back in to get it & here's what was written... "Hi, I have just found out that Chayse has been eating another girl's sandwich because he is asking for it. We talked about how it is really important for him to eat what he has brought. Chayse really wants a cheese sandwich for lunch. Thx..Mrs. Sidhu" So I march into the school. "So...I understand that we have an issue with Chayse & someone else's lunch." Mrs. Sidhu informs me that the little girl's (Jorja) mom came into the school & told Mrs. Sidhu that Jorja was upset that she was "forced" to share her lunch & that she was hungry. I would have done the same thing as Jorja's mom...there is no point in sending a lunch with your kid just to have some other kid take half of it. I honestly don't know what is going on in this child head, but.....What a punk!!! This morning I packed him a bigger lunch which included 2 pastrami (which he was excited about) buns. The first thing he said to me (after I went into the school) was "I didn't eat all of my lunch Mom...just the Rice Krispy square & the apples." Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....KILL ME NOW!!!!

Down by One....Almost!!!!

So, on Friday morning, while doing the boy's hair for school, Brig says to me "Chayse drew on the couch Mom." I didn't want to believe it, but I knew that it may very well be true. Chayse has been known to draw on things in the past & full on deny it & blame one brother or the other. NOTE...If you feel inclined to write on Dad's 52" TV (with a black Sharpie); don't leave your name; it can & will be used against you (& your butt). Anyway, so I go down to the basement; where Haiden willingly (& quite excitedly) shows me the side of the couch where one medium-sized blond boy had drawn an "X X /" in black Magic Marker. So, I find previously mentioned blond boy & ask him where the marker is. With marker in hand, I marched him up to Dad's bedside to tell him what he had done. (I am always concerned, in certain cases, that I may end up ringing the neck right off the shoulders of a child; so I feel as though it is prudent for me to extricate myself from a situation so as to protect myself & whichever child.) I walked away, so as not to be implicated in the pending carnage. There was screaming & there was crying. Then Monty asked if Chayse had a T-shirt that I didn't mind being written on. I found a red shirt on which Monty proceded to scrawl in the offending Magic Marker... "I drew on Dad's couch" & that's what he wore to school for all to see. There was more screaming & more crying & a bunch of.. "I don't want to wear this stupid shirt." & "I don't want to go to school." & as a last ditch effort "I'm sick!!!!!!!!!!!!" We didn't kill him, but YEEEEK...almost!!! Hopefully...Lesson Learned for all!

I have NOTHING

So I have NOTHING. I'm shocked!!! I usually have something to say about everything, but I guess I'm not getting out enough 'cuz I haven't had too much to bag about. Oh well...believe me, if I get ticked...you'll hear about it.